With the exception of those fortunate enough to be born into wealth, most of us grow up being told, directly or indirectly, that having as much money as possible is the goal. Millionaire. Billionaire. Financially independent. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with aspiring to any of that. But somewhere along the way, I think many of us confuse having money with knowing how to spend it. I learned that lesson from a woman named Mary. I met Mary through my first wife. She was, by any reasonable definition, a trust-fund baby. Her grandfather had been a giant in industry, and Mary legitimately had significant money available to her whenever she needed it.
What struck me was that in the 18 years I knew her, we almost never talked about it. Mary worked full-time as a scientific journal editor. She wasn't pretending to be poor, either. She simply didn't seem particularly interested in proving to anyone that she had money.
As far as I knew, the major purchases she made during those years included a Volvo station wagon, a Subaru Outback and a $350,000 home in central Massachusetts. That's about it. One night at a party, I watched Mary have a conversation with someone who was being particularly loud and obnoxious about his wealth and investments. Mary listened. Then she started asking questions. It took her about two minutes to completely dismantle his argument. I was standing nearby, trying not to laugh. She caught me smiling afterward, looked at me and simply nodded.
That was Mary. I was also fortunate enough, along with my wife at the time, to spend time with Mary's immediate family. They lived much the same way. There was no desperate need to demonstrate their wealth. Although, full disclosure, I did rather enjoy the occasional trip with them to the private polo clubs in Newport. I also have twice been on private jets... sweet! Hey, I'm not made of stone. 😂
Over the years, I've read countless interviews and articles about wealthy people, and one theme keeps appearing: Many genuinely wealthy people don't live the lavish, flashy lifestyles we see portrayed on television. Warren Buffett is probably the most famous example. Buffett has long been known for his relatively modest lifestyle. He still lives in the Omaha house he purchased in 1958 for $31,500, and he's famously associated with inexpensive McDonald's breakfasts, Coca-Cola and a general reluctance to spend money simply because he can. There are plenty of stories about Buffett using McDonald's coupons, including the famous story involving Bill Gates. Whether every detail of every Buffett story has been repeated accurately over the years isn't really the point.
The larger point is. The guy has billions of dollars. He doesn't feel compelled to spend billions of dollars. And Buffett isn't alone. Bill Gates has famously talked about his preference for practical technology and has been spotted using Android phones despite Microsoft's history in the mobile-phone business.
Michael Bloomberg has been known for remarkably practical habits despite his enormous wealth. Apparently he has only owned two pairs of dress shoes the last ten years. Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA, became famous for his frugality and preference for inexpensive clothing and older cars.
Suze Orman has talked about the satisfaction of saving money, including celebrating relatively small grocery savings. And Lady Gaga has openly discussed using coupons and shopping sale racks. None of these people need to save a few dollars. They simply understand that spending more money doesn't automatically mean getting more value.
I've probably spent far too much time building that case. Because here's where I really wanted to get. Expensive doesn't necessarily mean better. Designer doesn't necessarily mean higher quality. And a $500 shirt isn't automatically five times better than a $100 shirt.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with luxury. Hell, I'll admit it myself. There was a period in my life when I wanted designer labels. I liked knowing what they were, and I enjoyed being able to wear them. And full disclosure: if I eventually replace the Tag Heuer I once owned, I'm probably going to buy another luxury watch. Because sometimes you just want the damn thing. But my overall perspective has changed dramatically.
Today, I care much more about quality, materials, craftsmanship and value than I do about the name printed on the label. And that brings me to something I've personally discovered.
I've become a fan of a company called Quince. I first came across them because I was looking for high-quality clothing without the luxury-brand markup.I've now ordered from Quince four times.
And I've been impressed. Their clothing includes materials like cashmere, linen, organic cotton and merino wool, which has become one of my favorite everyday materials. The quality has been excellent in my experience. The fit has been good. Their order tracking is easy to follow, and the whole process has been straightforward. Most importantly, the price-to-quality ratio makes sense to me. That's the part I like.
I'm not telling you that Quince is the greatest clothing company ever invented. I'm telling you that I've actually bought their stuff, I've used it, and I like what I'm getting for what I'm paying. That's a recommendation I can stand behind. And it's also a pretty good gift option. You can create a favorite list and share it with friends or family, which is useful when someone asks the inevitable question: "So what the hell do you want for your birthday?"
I also did something I hadn't done before writing this.I went looking for companies that occupy a similar space.I checked several fashion blogs and compared their recommendations, and I also talked with a friend who has been working in the fashion industry for more than a decade and started their own fashion line about three years ago.Several of the same names kept coming up.I haven't personally ordered from all of these companies, so I'm not going to pretend I have firsthand experience with them.But they're worth exploring if you're interested in the same basic idea: good materials, good design and reasonable prices without paying primarily for a logo.
Italic operates around an "unbranded luxury" concept, emphasizing products without the traditional luxury-brand markup. It's worth exploring if you're interested in premium leather goods, clothing and home products. Italic
NAADAM is particularly known for cashmere and other knitwear. The company has built its brand around direct sourcing and a focus on high-quality materials. If you're a cashmere person, this one is worth a look. NAADAM
Linjer is another company that came up repeatedly in my research, particularly for watches, bags and jewelry. Again, I haven't personally tested their products yet. But they're now on my list. And, of course, there are established names such as Uniqlo and Everlane, which have long occupied the territory between inexpensive basics and traditional luxury pricing. Linjer
Maybe getting older changes the equation. When I was younger, I sometimes wanted people to know what I could afford. Now? I'd rather know what something is actually worth. That's a very different thing. Mary understood it. Warren Buffett understands it. A lot of other extraordinarily successful people seem to understand it too. And I'm slowly figuring it out. Maybe real luxury isn't owning the most expensive version of everything.
Maybe it's having enough confidence that you don't need the most expensive version of anything. So that's my little Campfire conversation for today. I've found something I like in Quince. I found several other companies worth exploring. Maybe you've found something even better. Tell me about it. What company have you discovered that gives you ridiculous quality without a ridiculous price?
Pull up a chair. The Campfire is always open.